It’s September… Beware

photo: zach paley
Miles Clark in deep in Japan.  Credit: Zach Paley

It’s September…  It’s September and whether you know it or not, your mind has been seasonally shifted.  September is the first of a series of months that end in “-ber” that lead to you saying “brrr.”

The equinox is less than 21 days from today.  From then on, the night is longer than the day, cold stronger than warm, and storm will prevail over calm.

Powder Magazine has already come out with their first issue of the coming winter and their second issue will appear in days.  Ski and snowboard movie trailers are dropping left and right and movie premiers loom closely behind them.

Credit: SnowBrains

September.  It’s when it all begins.  The frenzy won’t come to fruition just yet, but its rumblings are deeply felt across the Northern Hemisphere.  The rolling frequency will soon reach resonance and cause hectic and bizarre thought processes in snow humans everywhere.

An awakening is about to occur.  An awakening of mind and body – of spirit and element.  Tightened, sun-soaked skin will yearn for goosebumps and goggle tans.  Barren, lonely mountainsides await profound layers of frozen dihydrogen monoxide and frantic homo sapiens.

Eric Bryant on the charge in Las Lenas, Argentina.  Credit: SnowBrains

Your subconscious already knows how your brain will react to the coming cold and snow.   Once in and around it, you’ll act utterly ridiculous.  You’ll wear strange clothing to impress it.  You’ll scream without provocation within it.  You’ll suffer through horrific winds and terrible cold to stay near it.  You’ll spend copious amounts of money to befriend it.  Some will even forgo food and mating to ensure its acquisition.

There’s no proven cure for this formidable mind-warp outside of the hideous decrepitude found in extreme old age.  Even then, some find themselves longing for one more huge douse of snow-to-the-face.

So Beware.  It’s September…  It’s September and the tide is changing.  Your mind has been seasonally shifted – and it knows what comes next.  Beware.

photo: kenjiro matsuo
Miles Clark getting shacked in Japan. Credit: Kenjiro Matsuo